Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
