Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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