So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
