college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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