Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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