Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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