That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
