To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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