I looked at my own cervix.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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