It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
