Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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