So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize