That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
