it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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