I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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