Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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