no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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