DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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