the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
