would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
