on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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