Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
