he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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