...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
