Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
