I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
