Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize