The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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