dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
