I think i peed on brittanys purse
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
