everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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