Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we made out on top of his cat.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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