You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
