I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
