69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
