just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
