Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
