dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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