I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
