To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
