yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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