You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
