she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
