I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
