We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
