sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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