My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
