Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's official drugs can't kill me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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