Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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