$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize