I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
