I love black thongs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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