wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
