Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
