Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
