Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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