I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
