I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
