When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
